Well it aint getting any easier. Had to grab a skoal bandit pouch this morning, and use that for about 1/2 hr to quell my INCREDIBLE craving for Nicotine. I can control the use of the pouch, but hand me a pack of cigarettes and even if you told me just have one, I would have several, then the whole pack.
It seems to take this new medication "Chantix" about 2 hours to really start working. The picture describes how my mood and feelings are right now. I feel dead without my cigarette companions, like i said before, feel like i've left a good ol' friend behind.
I keep hearing from my mental health group that after the first week it becomes easier and then after one week my dose is doubled and twice a day for the next 3 weeks. I can't afford the full 3 month program (no insurance, cost me $130 for the one month program), so I'm going to have to make due with the one month program and maybe a skoal bandit here and there, but I REFUSE to BEND and buy cigarettes any more.
My cat made me mad this morning by having a cat crack moment of running around the house and walking over me in bed trying to wake me up. And now she's sleeping again. Nice, Nice. Not really, oh wait she's right here. She wants to sit in the windowsill where my computer desk is. The weather looks about as dreary as can be with wind, cold, and rain.
I gotta go. I don't attend church services because of my nature to have panic attacks in close quarters with so many other people i usually freak, so i'm going to wash my hands and pray my parayer beads.
Peace-out all,
the evolving dirt magnet hobbit
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