Back from the abyss

Howdy gang,

I am back from the abyss and am posting again. I rode for 30 minutes yesterday at the BMX track without a buddy so I wasn't pushing myself as much as I should have been, but with all the rain we had last week I couldn't ride. So I am publishing this blog now to update you.

I saw my stuffed shirt shrink today that had nothing but negative emotions to express to me. He even told me to "take off my earrings so people would get to know me before the earrings"... hey I'm sorry but the body and me come with the earrings. Its not only a cultural thing, but a personal image thing. Sorry shrink, not going to follow your direction. I am going to start volunteering at the local C-Cap (a volunteer run organization that gives food to the needy and poor) a couple of days a week. I need an outing and a place where I feel I am helping people. I am still riding when I can (2-3 days a week) and enjoy that immensely, however I don't like riding when there is nobody there at the track in case I take a spill.

I got in touch with a great friend and former riding buddy James out in San Diego who now works for Haro Bikes, but its not the same. He has a family now (I should have had a family started when I married my first wife) but aside from that I am happy being a hobbit.

I have recently begun to experiment with SalviaD and Morning Glory (both natural ethogens and legal) and that gives me perceptions that leave me amazed at my worldly perceptions. I leave up to you, my online friends my picture of the day that represents my percieved reality.

May peace be among you.

Blessed be,

DMH

Going for an AM bmx track ride

Well It's Sunday the 5th of August and I am going for an AM bmx bike ride at the track and work on edurance. I feel up to it and it will be nice and quite there. I DO like riding with riding buddies but sometimes you got to do it alone. I have some goals in mind and those are running the whole track and taking breaks between runs.

I love my cruiser. I would still like to find a bmx twenty-incher to ride and maybe even race, but its got to be an XL frame on the bike and it has to manual and handle well. It will take some time and I have to save money for a tattoo first and foremost and pay my annual AAA membership in case my 9 year old Civic breaks down and needs a tow. Towing can be expensive and AAA gives you towing up to 150 miles. So I need that with my car being old and although I've taken care of my baby civi I know older cars can and do break down from various reasons.

So I'm going to blast the cdplayer in my car and go for a track session.

Peace out all!

DMH :O)

No more drinking !!!

I'm saying NO to Dionysis to drinking alcoholic beverages anymore. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of the after-affects of drinking, particularly binge drinking. It reduces my athletic abilities, my sense of balance (necessary for bmx) and getting depressed and angry for no reason. Time to put the beer can down and have a coke instead.

I've finally gotten angry enough with myself to stop this nonsense and useless expensive exploitation of my fixed income. The occasional pack of cigarettes I can deal with and I will work on that a little later, first I need to save myself from the alcohol god and free myself for better things like exercising and reducing apathy which comes usually the first few days after a drinking binge. There are better ways to stay occupied and not numb my mind.

[this blog is not finished, I'll resume later]

August 1st 2007. I had a miracle happen today. I was driving back from my parents house and had a trigger, I drove up to the quick stop grocery (where all the cheapest beer in town can be found) and drove in. I was about to get out of my car when my inner voice said to me don't do it, its just plain stupid to ruin what recovery you have started. So I drove out of there and made it home. The trigger was the place itself a haven for alcoholics and the like. I passed the test, my first test. There will be many more tests to come. Quitting alcohol doesn't happen overnight and there are times when (us alcoholics) use again, but that's not the end of the story. I plan to put an exclamation point on my calendar for every day I do not drink any beer. Then I can see how far I'm progressing and after maybe perhaps a month of not drinking I can rest easier and see the red flags pop up when I have a craving and reward myself for not drinking by going to Taco Bell or MCD's for a burger or a burrito.
YEAH for me!