Monday, December 3, 2007

Winter Blues... Send me hiking in Sedona



Well the winter blues has hit me and I have a longing to trek back to Sedona to hike and bike the great trails they have there and the landscape is a real treat for the eyes and soul. I miss living so close to Sedona but some day I will get back to Phoenix and only be an hour and a half from the grand vistas of sedona.

I also like meditating there on Bell Rock and enjoy the vortex sites immensely. So far I've been to Bell Rock and Cathedral Rock. I have yet to see Snoopy Rock or the other vortex sites. Biking the trails would be a good workout but sometimes its best to hike the trails and take life a bit slower and you notice more things about the landscape and nature around you. Its a true retreat from the every day routine, a journey that starts with one step of several thousand you may take during hiking the sites. Due to the high altitude they have winter there and the best times to go are April-May and September-October when its not so cold or so hot. And if you get the chance, stop for lunch or dinner at the Red Planet Diner. Its a real treat and the food is excellent.

Namaste

~ DMH

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Send me to the Merry X-Mas Rave in Phoenix!!!




Man last time I went was 2004 and it was one hell of a raving party. 5 stages, lots of kick-ass dj's and lots of illies. Had a great time and met some really cool people. One of the guys from "Flock Productions" kept me posted on when who was playing what and when and kept me outta trouble (like I would get into any bit of trouble except the good kind of trouble heh heh).


But seriously its the best rave of the year even though its indoors lots of neon and glowstix and rollers getting down and funky to the beat. I'm a white boy that can't dance but I was groovin to some of the vinyal being thrown down on the turntables and it was a really cool scene. At 10pm when the lights went out there was hardly anybody there... two hours later and the place was jam packed with people raving out of their minds. I'll try and post a pic up here from either last years or the year before's show. You can't go wrong with a party in Phoenix.


Much lOvE,


DMH

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

So the fall is upon us


So the fall is here and the cooler temperatures to stay. I like that but the fall... I really hate the fall, oh the leaves change color for two days... then a big wind comes and you got nothing but sticks for the rest of the year. Spring is my season. The fall is a reminder that mother winter is around the corner and with it snow, sleet, ice, and freezing rain. And of course the "early" christmas buzz at the department stores. It seems the Christian right has taken over celebrations like halloween and thanksgiving for the long, long comming Christmas Season. It should start the day after Thanksgiving as has traditionaly done. Shoppers galore buying things they may want as gifts and then things they don't need. I do need to buy a tree, a live tree and white christmas lights. No ornaments, just lights. I like the natural look and with my budget I will place it in the living room facing the porch so that others may see it and enjoy its warm glow. I hope none of you take this wrong, but we have two more celebrations before the Christmas season and we should enjoy them first before we go "christmas crazy". Ignore the department stores stocking up on displays and Christmas clutter. Go with your true feelings and enjoy the seasons as they come. Its still mid-September and Summer is not "officially over" until the 23rd of September. Then its fall. The cold blast of air from Canada is welcome and the temps over the next few sunshiney days after today will only be in the mid 70's here and I welcome that. Good riding weather. Have a good one everybody and remember fall is the reminder that mother winter is just upon us. Take walks through parks and enjoy the fall scenery while it lasts.
Peace-out,
DMH

Friday, September 7, 2007

Crazy Cool Upcomming Computer Game


The Settlers: Rise of an Empire - stated release date 9/25/07.
This game has it all. Interactive townsfolk, building modes, different tradespeople, maids and brutes, people marry, build an empire to become king or queen of your stake of land and protect them from savages that may try and kill and take over your land. Take care of them and provide food, trees to build with or to use as firewood, four seasons; making sure you have enough provisions to make it thorough the winter. I'm really looking forward to purchasing this game and having a pet project to work on in the next few months of play and then when I know how better to operate the controls and keep the people happy with traveling carnivals and a happy population that is also protected will probably play this game online with other "settlers" game lovers. It is the most beautifully detailed and interactive of the fantasty games set in the middle ages I have ever seen. I wanted to share this, with you my readers. Just becoming acquainted with the game and watching my townsfolk interact will be interesting in the beginning as the game has a mode you can turn on where the people are always happy and you aren't skirmishing. Games for the PC have come a long way and I'm sure this is to become an instant classic.
Download the tutiorial demo and two free skirmish maps at www.gamespot.com today!
Peace and blessed be,
DMH :o)

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Back from the abyss


Howdy gang,


I am back from the abyss and am posting again. I rode for 30 minutes yesterday at the BMX track without a buddy so I wasn't pushing myself as much as I should have been, but with all the rain we had last week I couldn't ride. So I am publishing this blog now to update you.


I saw my stuffed shirt shrink today that had nothing but negative emotions to express to me. He even told me to "take off my earrings so people would get to know me before the earrings"... hey I'm sorry but the body and me come with the earrings. Its not only a cultural thing, but a personal image thing. Sorry shrink, not going to follow your direction. I am going to start volunteering at the local C-Cap (a volunteer run organization that gives food to the needy and poor) a couple of days a week. I need an outing and a place where I feel I am helping people. I am still riding when I can (2-3 days a week) and enjoy that immensely, however I don't like riding when there is nobody there at the track in case I take a spill.


I got in touch with a great friend and former riding buddy James out in San Diego who now works for Haro Bikes, but its not the same. He has a family now (I should have had a family started when I married my first wife) but aside from that I am happy being a hobbit.


I have recently begun to experiment with SalviaD and Morning Glory (both natural ethogens and legal) and that gives me perceptions that leave me amazed at my worldly perceptions. I leave up to you, my online friends my picture of the day that represents my percieved reality.
May peace be among you.
Blessed be,
DMH



Sunday, August 5, 2007

Going for an AM bmx track ride


Well It's Sunday the 5th of August and I am going for an AM bmx bike ride at the track and work on edurance. I feel up to it and it will be nice and quite there. I DO like riding with riding buddies but sometimes you got to do it alone. I have some goals in mind and those are running the whole track and taking breaks between runs.
I love my cruiser. I would still like to find a bmx twenty-incher to ride and maybe even race, but its got to be an XL frame on the bike and it has to manual and handle well. It will take some time and I have to save money for a tattoo first and foremost and pay my annual AAA membership in case my 9 year old Civic breaks down and needs a tow. Towing can be expensive and AAA gives you towing up to 150 miles. So I need that with my car being old and although I've taken care of my baby civi I know older cars can and do break down from various reasons.
So I'm going to blast the cdplayer in my car and go for a track session.
Peace out all!
DMH :O)

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

No more drinking !!!






















I'm saying NO to Dionysis to drinking alcoholic beverages anymore. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of the after-affects of drinking, particularly binge drinking. It reduces my athletic abilities, my sense of balance (necessary for bmx) and getting depressed and angry for no reason. Time to put the beer can down and have a coke instead.

I've finally gotten angry enough with myself to stop this nonsense and useless expensive exploitation of my fixed income. The occasional pack of cigarettes I can deal with and I will work on that a little later, first I need to save myself from the alcohol god and free myself for better things like exercising and reducing apathy which comes usually the first few days after a drinking binge. There are better ways to stay occupied and not numb my mind.

[this blog is not finished, I'll resume later]

August 1st 2007. I had a miracle happen today. I was driving back from my parents house and had a trigger, I drove up to the quick stop grocery (where all the cheapest beer in town can be found) and drove in. I was about to get out of my car when my inner voice said to me don't do it, its just plain stupid to ruin what recovery you have started. So I drove out of there and made it home. The trigger was the place itself a haven for alcoholics and the like. I passed the test, my first test. There will be many more tests to come. Quitting alcohol doesn't happen overnight and there are times when (us alcoholics) use again, but that's not the end of the story. I plan to put an exclamation point on my calendar for every day I do not drink any beer. Then I can see how far I'm progressing and after maybe perhaps a month of not drinking I can rest easier and see the red flags pop up when I have a craving and reward myself for not drinking by going to Taco Bell or MCD's for a burger or a burrito.
YEAH for me!

Monday, July 30, 2007

Boring Monday July 30th






















Boy is it a boring Monday, July 30th. I have to wait a week until I get paid. I'm tempted to overdraft my account and pay the penalty fee so I can buy some groceries and some soda. A week and two days is a long wait.

But, I am alive, I am content, I feel relatively good this morning, and my cat hasn't shredded anything I can see except for her losing her small catnip mice under the linen closet door. Bleh. I need some excitement today and I really don't even have the gas in my car to go anywhere. *sigh*.

The good news is I changed all my groups back to Yahoo Mail since its a LOT faster and I don't have to click on an email and wait the 15 seconds it takes to load and replying takes just as long. Sure, I won't be able to embed graphics into my mail messages, but I can put them up in my blog.

I've been doing rather well schizoaffectively speaking. No bad dreams either of recently. Just a good lack of decent sleep as the dark circles under my eyes are very dark. I could use a good nap this afternoon then go to the track tonight and practice with Jason as my riding partner. Its always a good idea to ride at the track with a riding buddy as one never knows if one will take a spill unexpectedly.

Have a great day everybody!

DMH :O)

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Tattoo I want for my left upper arm


Here is a drawing of a wolf (hippy) and pup I want on my upper arm done next before my wolf tattoo... I'll take out the background... not necessary. I like his baggy pants and the artistic nature of the drawing. It also shows I love all animals, particularly cats and kittens. This will be the anime representation of me and tigger my cat.

The Virginia State BMX Qualifier in Winchester


Hi Again, Its me. I'm fully back from the nether regions and have some fresh pictures of the Virginia BMX State Qualifier ready to post. I'm not in any of them since I'm NOT racing this year; this year I'm just in training for next years locals and State Series. I've been a little off my rocker lately as I've been abusing alcohol and finally stopped when my checking account said I only have $3.79 left. So that's a quick way to recovery - no money to buy booze. I've been having a blast hosting "netherregions" on yahoogroups.com and Its really picking up now with me and my friend littledog posting several times a day, along with being a member of SZ_AND_SZA, and PTSD. These are very open-hearted, caring individuals and we block out those that are "mean spirited" members. Anyhow, without further ado, I bring you some pics from the VA Qualifier that took place here in my hometown of Winchester just three weekends ago.


















16-18 Experts on the move on the first straight over the step-up
















16-18 Experts: leader showing some style over the double on the third straight with a big lead



















James "Popeye" and Jason
"Mr. Smooth" both bmx friends from way back in 1990's we go back a long ways and the man, Popeye has been racing since the early 70's in Hampton, VA. He's the oldest twenty-inch rider in the state right now at 45. Sure, we have older Cruiser riders, but he really kicks it on twenty even with his tuff wheel mag wheels.




















This is Popeye leading the 45&over Cruiser Main... notice that
smooth manualing style!

















35&Over Novice/Expert Main Combined... Jason in second place making the move.



Well that's all the news that's fit to print. I had a heck of a time getting these pictures aligned along with the captions so I figure the best way to do it next time is to post pictures first then put the captions in and space them. It was a great weekend for racing and not too hot. Great turnout, great friends, and
watching Popeye and Mr. Smooth gives me encouragement for next year when I have Medical Insurance Coverage and will race the 35-39 Cruiser Group.

Peace out all!









Friday, May 25, 2007

Going for a morning bmx street riding session

















Well I'm taking a day off from the bmx track and working on some street riding skills and endurance training. I have a hill in mind to try and ride up as well as some nice bumpy sidewalks along downtown. I need to learn to build up my endurance and my bunnyhopping skills and curb launching skills.

This here pic is me at the city park playground just messing around manualing on the open concrete shuffleboard area. I also "used to" rode the putt-putt golf course making quick jumps and bunnhops. Unfortunately the place is patrolled and no bikes, skaters, or in-line skaters are allowed there anymore. They also tore down the sand pit volleyball pit and planted grass there. Too many "undesirables" were showing up there. Now it's all for the kids and families. So even the walking path through the park has signs up saying "No Bikes". That leave me only the downtown section to ride on. And the good thing about that is there are lots of hilly sections downtown through tree lined neighborhood streets, filled with songbirds and the rustle of wind through the trees. Its really nice there.

I should be leaving soon before it gets too hot to ride. It got really hot by 11:30am yesterday and today I want to ride before the heatwave... its a sticky, balmy 66 degrees outside right now, so I should leave early. I just realized I don't have headphones for my cdplayer nor the cash to buy them right now, so I will just listen to the sounds of nature and of the people milling about downtown.

Have a good one everybody and to the bikers... ride on!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

AM BMX Track Practice This Morning





















Well today's one hour long practice got me familiar with all the jumps and rollers and I think I've got the track wired. I took about 8 runs from the second turn into the third straight over a small step-up, pulled up for the lip, down the backside, over a roller you had to pull up for (or it would launch you), and then practiced jumping the tabletop right after... its so close to the roller there's barely enough time to pull for it so i practiced jumping it. It has a nice long smooth back side so it if you don't make it, you are still on flat ground. After about 3 runs I was pumping it and my first sky over the jump was the most scary adreneline rush one could have.

I gave it about 4-6 more runs and actually made backside of the jump but not enough body english to drop the front end to the backside but I was clearning it. That made me feel better. There is just not enough time to pull manual the table right after the roller its too quick. Best way is to jump it. I'll try and get some photos of me jumping it and a pic of me starting from the gate.

All in all it was a good intense ride for an hour... a true body workout. I love it. And yes I had a full face helmet on. Always will. One can break bones, but not worth the head concussion if I wreck, which i don't think I will since i've got the track wired now. I know every roller, every jump and know how to pull for them. I don't plan on racing this year, but I will take gate practice. I need to re-learn how to take gates and also how to re-learn how to jump and table tops are perfect since they are flat on top and if you don't make it you just land flat and keep going.

Peace out peoples.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Like Day and Night


















I spent most of today sick from some spoiled potato salad last night. Cramps, hitting the loo every 1/2 hour for 1/2 an hour at a time... I'll spare you the details but now I'm feeling much better. I missed most of the day which was a nice 77 degrees. Now its nightfall and my favorite time to blog, read, do yoga or whatnot. I'm skipping the yoga tonight as I feel still to ill to do inverted stretches.

In about an hour it will be dark and I'll be left with some candlelight and some ambient music and incense. I got a rude reply from some jerkoff on on of my groups about my use of salvia to meditate to and I simply replied that most of us here are friendly folk and he must be a cop. Too bad, its still a "legal herbal smoke" here in Virginia. I "KNOW" the power of it and am a practicing shaman. The visions only last about 10 minutes and the rest of the hour is a good energetic body sweaty buzz. Next reply I get from him will get use of the delete key. It comes in handy for angry idiots like that.

Anyhow... its quite now, my cat is already asleep and I plan to stay up for a few more hours and read some from my trilogy fantasy novel "The Coldfire Trilogy". It will be my third read and its quite an adventure.

Peace and blessings.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Getting my anthropomorphic yoga on



























Hey ya'll its been a while since I last posted. I've been doing lots of yoga, meditation, and prayer... along with the part-time job hunting. I feel a lot better these days. Got two solid days of Cruiser BMX riding at our local track and I pulled my shoulder muscles so I've been doing stretches on and off throughout the past two days.

I think tomorrow will be a fine day for bmx'ing it up at the track. Talk about a full-body workout! Usually two hours and I'm whipped. Looking forward to tomorrow. Temps should be in the mid 70's. Perfect riding weather. And while I'm typing this my cat is begging for petting. (petting the cat)... Ok I'm back. Listening to some old Pink Floyd.

I'm going to meditate tonight for another hour with the help of the salvia leaf... a legal herbal smoke for those not in the know. It's the dry season here and no herb to be found wherever I check or talk to. Its also the growing season so it may be a few MORE months before I can obtain some herb to smoke and relax to. Tis ok with this Dirt Magnet. I like my snuff and the occasional light beer I drink in the evenings. Helps me sleep well too.

Anyhow this post was mostly about nothing, but I retook the Jungian Type Personality Test and really paid attention to the questions and my truthful answers and as posted in an earlier blog... I'm still and INFJ. Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging. People like us usually take on more than we can handle and set expectations too high. Also, we are very empathetic people to others suffering.

Well, that's all for now folks.

Peace and blessings.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Nether Regions and Other Worlds


















After re-reading the Celestine Prophecy for the third time I'm getting in touch with coincidences in my life and trying to build up my personal energy.

Example: I'm going to about five places tomorrow that are hiring part-time labor. I have my resumes and references ready, have my story straight that I am MI and (we'll just say I'm going to say "Bipolar" is all) can only work a part time job due to the requirements of my disability and with my right to work ticket.

I think I understand my control drama much better as I usually play aloof while interrogators and intimidators are all around me. To get clear I need to fill myself up with love and give these people the energy they will subconsciously pull from me and I will have to name their drama at some point without being rude (that's a hard thing to do). I also learned that getting clear and following one's intuition is a good thing... most people call that a gut instinct to interact with somebody or be motivated to do something, yet many seldom do and dismiss it with a passing thought or wave.

I intend on looking my best and doing my best in these interviews for part-time labor and the best place I can think of right now is our local beverage "Crown Cork & Seal" that packages your favorite beverages like Dr. Pepper, RC Cola, & Gingerale. No experience required. I think its mostly a packing or loading job part-time in the evenings and I'm a night owl anyway when I do have stuff to do in the evenings.

Tomorrow also after 6pm I'm heading on over to Groove Merchant - a new bike shop in Martinsburg to test out the new MCS Magnum Cruiser and see if I want to put some cash down on it. I still have to sell my Kona $800 2006 MTN bike after it gets out of the shop Monday for a new crank arm and a tune-up. If not, this dirt magnet will continue to ride my MTN bike at the city park BMX track.

The hobbit in me keeps me in most days as we hobbits like to work on their own things and (me with my kitty tigger) be an internet junkie and write these posts that are a reflection of my desire to journal my feelings and emotions.

Know what else? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't do drugs (except the occasional herb), and I don't have sex anymore (I take care of myself occasionally), and the last thing - Casual Sex - just isn't worth the risk of becoming infected with some STD or worse Hepatitis or AIDS. I used to enjoy the casual relationships and fun encounters with woman of all ages but they always wanted a relationship and me playing the 'aloof' drama accepted their interests and now find that this hobbit don't need no more relationships. I can do better to take care of myself and just have online or "friends only" relationships.

May the green glow of this dirt magnet hobbit carry on and learn to increase my energy vibrations to higher levels as more coincidences - like the one I had today to go back in the Blockbuster Video store later to apply directly with one of the assistant managers. Personally I also take what my doctor said seriously, "You don't belong in a retail or call center environment because of your severe panic attacks you suffer from." Truth be told.

So this dirt magnet hobbit shall carry on and continue to be with and support my online health groups I call family.

Peace and blessings.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Ahh the joy of installing security software


I personally hate installing software... the waiting... the possible hiccups in the installation... security serial numbers... applications halting. And so on.

But thanks to the amazing help (yea right) of Comcast I was able to re-install my McAfee Security Suite (with AntiVirus and Firewall).

Took me two days to figure out how to do it and all it was a simple problem I corrected in my Comcast Email Address that was spelled wrong. So when McAfee tried my old email address it cancelled my subscription to McAfee Updates.

Ahhh but a resourceful hobbit like myself was able to pull it all together and make it work.

Aint computers great? Errr... uh... yea i suppose so.

Friday, May 4, 2007

BMX Cruiser I want is a....


Ahh An MCS Complete Cruiser Ride. Now THIS is a real racing machine. MCS Magnum Complete Aluminum frame, Chromoly fork, 3pc chromoly cranks , chromoly handlebars (nice and tall), chromoly stem, easy cruiser gearing...

If there is an "MCS Speedfreak Cruiser" I didn't see it on their website, but this looks like the beauty I've been looking for. a nice nimble stiff and quick off the line cruiser. It oozes "Do Me" all over it on the BMX track. I have a bite on my Kona Cinder Kone 2006 MTN bike and I hope I get it sold next Thursday after I get it out of the shop from a tune-up. Should be nice and showroom ready for the buyer whom told me the price was right but the size may be too big for a 5' 6" dude. I told him with the seat down its perfect for a dude his size and very nimble even on a bmx track.

We shall see. Tune in again fellow dirt magnet hobbiters....

Our Annual Party: 80th Shenandoah Apple Blossom Festival



Yes, once again its 'the bloom' hits Winchester, Virginia.

Its the 80th Shenandoah Apple Blossom festival; complete with Circus, two parades (fireman's tonight at 5pm, & Grand Feature Tomorrow at 1:30pm), Weekend in the park - arts, crafts, food vendors (ahhh funnel cake and cotton candy), and the carnival - just a 1/4 mile from my house... I can hear the screams of the kids and parents on the rides and smell the sweet funnel cake and food. Its quite a weekend. Police (Task Force, DEA, State & Local Police, Undercover cops)... this a hobbit is a staying in... once you've been arrested (me for a 2001 DUI on XTC), you fear for your life upon seeing them. I was actually astonished at the two Task Force police at the local Handy Mart by the doors looking for 'suspicious' people, drunks, druggies, anything out of the ordinary and I was just going in to buy some potato chips to eat. I felt very looked upon by the police with my shorts, tattoos, ear piercings and tye-dye shirt on. But they never stopped me or questioned me, just a "have a safe evening sir" was all I got on the way out.

I can't go to the carnival just for the crowd and people. Plus my doctor told me to avoid amusement rides as that may cause a seizure in me - even the safe looking 'scrambler' could throw me into convulsions he said to me last month. So this hobbit is a hobbiting in his safe hobbit hole with tigger the cat.

The parade and stuff is fun for kids and families, but once you've seen the festival many times over as a kid most of us 'locals' either stay in or go out of town... OR watch it on local tv.

I'm just blabbering on and listening to "Lateralus" by TOOL. Need some metal right now to stay awake as I slept last night for 10 hours... and still sick with the intestinal flu. Called up a herbalist friend in Phoenix and she said to drink chamomile tea and eat peanut butter. Stay away from coffee and heavy foods.

Bleh... I've felt better. My bike still in the bike shop - had to order a new crank arm I bent at the bmx track. They said use locktite, but that they would not put that on it. A fellow biker told me to use the medium strenght locktitie and just keep it tight. I'll probably avoid the track and take to the mtn bike trails when i get it back as i'm trying to sell it in the valley trader so I can buy a single-speed 24" bmx cruiser.

That's all for today folks.

Peace and blessings.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Fear and Loathing: Re-entering the workforce


Well folks I am now going through a mixed-episode of depression, anxiety, and fear and loathing. I have been on disability for two years and am looking to find a safe haven to work part-time in and still keep my nut check which I count on to pay my rent, utils, bills, gas, and groceries.

At the advice of a good friend of mine I have registered, refined and shortened my resume to pertinent information only, and uploaded in MS WORD format my resume and created a good general cover letter. I have already applied to two "PC TECH" jobs: one in Front Royal (20 min drive) and same position in Hagerstown, MD (35 min drive). I anxiously await the opportunity to work on computer issues, migrations to MS Windows XP, and Imaging software which I have experience in and carry a Microsoft Certification and an A+ Computer Technician hw/sw Certification.

I have set the date as of Friday, May 11th to apply in person to 4 open part-time positions in Winchester (short commute, easy jobs). I hope the full-time PC Tech positions will allow me to work just part-time (less than 25hrs/week).

I will meditate and pray for something to come my way just by following my instincts and coincidences I am watching for. I need the 10 days to mentally and physically prepare myself through yoga and mountain bike riding the local BMX track in the evenings when its cooler and can ride with a riding buddy of mine... tonight included. Call it my mental health clarity and time to mentally prepare myself for the socialization and fear and anxiety reduction at either the local part-time jobs or offer myself in the interview for PC TECH as part-time only. I will NOT risk losing my nut check to risk it all for a full-time position in that area. I just can't do it. I'm not ready yet.

I hope you readers that have been privied to my blog to offer your prayers and healing vibes.

Peace and Blessings.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Finally kicked a 10 year cigarette habit



Well after being introduced to "Swedish Snus" I've finally been able to kick the ten-year-old habit of cigarette smoking. Just last year this time I would sit in front of my computer chain smoking up to three packs a day!

Now with the advice and help of a good friend I met online I am using "non-American" snus that doesn't cause cancer like its American competition. It has a much better flavor, at least the Lucky Strike has a nice roasted flavor, has a nice nicotine kick and my lungs are already feeling better and I'm not waking up with the morning dry smokers cough I used to have that could last up to five minutes.

I figure, hey, I'm 38 and from what I've read if one can "kick the habit" in their 30's significant repair to the lungs can be repaired by the human body. I've finally done it. I have no craving or urge to smoke another cigarette. The snus satisfies my urges and costs a fraction of what I was paying for cartons of cigarettes.

Just wanted to share that with my fellow readers of this here little blog o' mine.

Peace and blessings.

Friday, April 27, 2007

On a lighter note... my animal totem


I would like to let all you blogger readers know that my animal totem is a wolf.

I have seen wolves in my dreams twice in my life, the second one within the last month - a white wolf - in the snow leading me somewhere.

Wolves do travel alone or in packs when hunting. They are protectors of their family and generally very fond of each other, giving much of themselves.

Wolves are also teachers and pathfinders... EXACTLY what I am doing with my life right now... finding a new rebirth and path to enlightenment. I have broad spiritual beliefs with Christianity as the grounding for all my prayers (despite my lack of church attendance due to panic attacks). I can appreciate all religions because I am a Leftist Christian and have an open mind towards other beliefs. I've personally experienced Catholicism, Methodist, Wicca, Islam, Paganism, and now Shamanism - the practice of enlightenment and healing powers (for others and oneself).

In reality wolves are friendly and social creatures preferring to take a stance and growl than attack if possible. Wolves represent the spirit of freedom, but they realize that having individual freedom requires having responsibilities. Because wolf is a teacher and pathfinder, he comes when we need guidance in our lives. Those who have a Wolf Totem will move on to teach others about sacredness and spirituality.

I have chosen my personal route grounded in my youth as a Catholic Christian, albeit one that prefers to pray alone here in my apartment. I disagree with too much of the Catholic dogma, which I will not go into details on.

I say to you whom may comment "but you are tainting your Christian Catholic beliefs!!!" So I say to you without sin throw the first stone. All of the worlds religions believes "they" have the correct path to their higher power. I celebrate them all and believe in the power of "threes" and "karma". I meditate, yoga, and pray every morning and evening. I believe the energy you send out will come back to you three fold good or bad, so you better think before you act lest you have karma come back and kick your butt.

Enough said. Think deeply on my writings and remember to not judge others by outward appearances, know them and then you will most likely be surprised at whom is inside that body.

woof woof

Battle over religious symbol on VA gravestone ends

pentacle2.jpg

Your dirt magnet reporter here delivering the news to you world-wide:

http://soldiersmind.com
This post is not meant to offend anyone, it is not meant to cause an argument, nor is it meant to express a specific religious belief, but instead meant to tell the story about a struggle that is pertinent today to many soldiers and their loved ones. Like Anthony, I tend to avoid discussions about religion the majority of the time, because like Politics, it can become very heated, very quickly. One of the things our troops are fighting to protect, is our rights to freely practice our chosen religion, as stated in the 1st Amendment of the US Constitution. Because this is one of the principles that this country was founded on, I feel that it’s very important that people of ALLfaiths and religions be allowed to practice as they see fit, as long as it doesn’t infringe upon the rights of others, including having the symbol of their religion on their grave stone at the time of their death. I’ve been following this story closely, because of that reason, but also because I have a loved one who practices the Wiccan religion, and is serving in the Military. Initially, the US Department of Veteran’s Affairs did not agree and 11 families of soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, who were practicing Wiccans, were not allowed to place their religious symbol, the pentacle upon their labout the family of one of those 11 soldiers and their struggle,oved ones grave markers in the VA Cemeteries. This story is which resulted in a law suit to have the symbol below, placed on his grave stone in their local National Cemetery.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

On September 25, 2005, Sgt. Patrick Stewart died in combat operations in Afghanistan, when his Chinook helicopter was shot down by an RPG. After his death, a huge controversy ensued, when the Department of Veterans Affairs refused to allow his religious symbol, the Wiccan pentacle to be imprinted on his gravestone. When his widow, Robert Stewart questioned this, she was told by VA officials that they only allowed symbols that they have approved to be placed in its cemeteries.

Roberta Stewart was angered and rightly so. She questioned this decision, as Wicca has been a recognized religion in the US Military since 1996 and has been recognized as an official religion in the United States for many years.

She commented at the time, “Remember that all freedoms are worth fighting for.” Mrs. Stewart held an alternate memorial service for her husband with Wiccan clergy officiating, as they were not allowed to be present at the official ceremony. At that time, Mrs. Stewart placed a blue wreath with a white pentacle (the official symbol of Wicca) on her husband’s gravestone, which was blank, except for his name and dates of his birth and his death.


Patrick Stewart wasn’t and isn’t the only Wiccan in the US Military and he isn’t the only one who has died serving his country. Currently thousands of our brave troops, are practicing the Wiccan religion, as is their right. On September 29, 2006, just four days after the one year anniversary of Patrick Stewart’s death, the ACLU filed a law suit against the VA on behalf of 11 families of Wiccan soldiers who had given their lives in defense of their country. (I should make note here, that I rarely agree with the causes that the ACLU undertakes and feel that more times than not, they tend to blow things out of proportion. This time however, I feel that they did the right thing).

Yesterday, it was announced that the VA has now added the Wiccan Pentacle to the list of religious emblems that are allowed in National Cemeteries and on Government-issued headstones. A settlement was reached between the US Department of Veterans Affairs and Wiccans, naming the Pentacle to the list of “emblems of belief” that are allowed on VA grave markers. In the settlement, the VA agrees that the Pentacle, whose 5-pointed star represents earth, air, fire, water and spirit, will be placed on the grave markers within 14 days, for those who have pending requests with the VA. Other details released, said that the VA sought the settlement in the interests of the families involved and to save taxpayers the expense of further litigation, according to VA spokesman Matt Burns.

With the addition of the Pentacle, there are now 39 symbols that the VA permits on grave stones. They include commonly recognized symbols for Christianity, Buddhism, Islam and Judaism, as well as symbols for smaller religions, such as Sufism Reoriented, Eckiankar and the Japanese faith Seicho-No-Ie.

Wicca is a nature-based religion, which is based on respect for the earth, nature and the cycle of the seasons. The Wiccan Pentacle is not to be confused with variations of the symbol that have been used in horror movies and such to represent a sign of the devil, where the symbol is inverted. Those who practice the Wiccan faith, do not recognize those variations. Many of the families who were involved in the lawsuit, are hoping to have the symbols in place on their loved ones graves before Memorial Day.



journaling... a very disturbing dream



I just had a dream that me and my ex-gf were having it really out and i was leaving her and she was suing me and i was counter suing her and she was cutting herself and the song "Hate Me" by Blue October kept getting louder and louder in my brain until I was actually singing... no yelling the words to her for all she had done to hurt me with her anger, her cursing, her making her son cry, for pretending to be a loving caring woman when i first met her and now this and the song got so loud i actually woke up and the song was still playing in my damn brain. ARRRRGGGH!

I thought I was over all of this and now I am sent this bad dream. That's totally the opposite of how it happened when i left her. There was nothing thrown or broken, no curse words, no yelling, just her saying (once her son was crying) "I hate you". And her father came over and even offered to help get my stuff out, since I was on a two hour time limit to 'get the hell out of my house" deal.

I'm sorry to write such painful stuff but this one had me in the kitchen crying while smoking a cigarette. Why these flashback and misconstrued dreams of what did not take place. I don't know. Its like she sent the dream using wicca to bind and hurt me in my sleep. Its just to disturbing to go further into the graphic details of the whole dream but the song is still playing in my head and now i have to download it to hear all the words.

I'm sorry if I upset anybody, It's just a dream right?

Sad and anxious,

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Potentially Habital Planet Found

Dirt magnet reporting from the AP wire:

By SETH BORENSTEIN AP Science Writer

WASHINGTON Apr 25, 2007 (AP)— For the first time astronomers have discovered a planet outside our solar system that is potentially habitable, with Earth-like temperatures, a find researchers described Tuesday as a big step in the search for "life in the universe."

The planet is just the right size, might have water in liquid form, and in galactic terms is relatively nearby at 120 trillion miles away. But the star it closely orbits, known as a "red dwarf," is much smaller, dimmer and cooler than our sun.

There's still a lot that is unknown about the new planet, which could be deemed inhospitable to life once more is known about it. And it's worth noting that scientists' requirements for habitability count Mars in that category: a size relatively similar to Earth's with temperatures that would permit liquid water. However, this is the first outside our solar system that meets those standards.

"It's a significant step on the way to finding possible life in the universe," said University of Geneva astronomer Michel Mayor, one of 11 European scientists on the team that found the planet. "It's a nice discovery. We still have a lot of questions."

The results of the discovery have not been published but have been submitted to the journal Astronomy and Astrophysics.

Alan Boss, who works at the Carnegie Institution of Washington where a U.S. team of astronomers competed in the hunt for an Earth-like planet, called it "a major milestone in this business."

The planet was discovered by the European Southern Observatory's telescope in La Silla, Chile, which has a special instrument that splits light to find wobbles in different wave lengths. Those wobbles can reveal the existence of other worlds.

What they revealed is a planet circling the red dwarf star, Gliese 581. Red dwarfs are low-energy, tiny stars that give off dim red light and last longer than stars like our sun. Until a few years ago, astronomers didn't consider these stars as possible hosts of planets that might sustain life.

The discovery of the new planet, named 581 c, is sure to fuel studies of planets circling similar dim stars. About 80 percent of the stars near Earth are red dwarfs.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The assistant manager at Spencers (Venting)


Well, I showed up at 11:30 for my interview and the assistant manager says, "Ok, where's your application?" And I said, "You know I was in the store yesterday - you were the only one working. I bought a pack of incense sticks from you and you never gave me an application, made my purchase and left. I got home a half-hour later and called you about the job openings in part-time and you said to me, 'Sure thing, I'll setup the interview tomorrow at 11:30am with the general manager' so obviously there is a lack of communication here with you knowing I did not have an application, you even said not to worry about my MI and to just come in for the interview (and I'm thinking how many drugs over what period of time did SHE take last night to almost completely forget me, I mean I did shave my head, but that shouldn't have mattered). To which she replied, "Ok, here's an application. You'll have to go fill it out and we will have to reschedule you... wait a minute - you can work any day of the week right?" (her hand pulling back the application) To which I responded, "Sure, any day, any time for part-time work... may I please have the application?" Then she handed it to me and went back to talking to one of her associates. HOW F**King RUDE!!! And clueless to boot. So, I will fill out the application in the morning and turn it in and politely remind her whom I am and would like an interview as soon as possible please. ARRRRGGGHHHH God I hate stupid people. I don't hate people that are Ignorant about things because they just don't know any better, but stupid people really annoy me. I'm going to go give my cat some treats and mess around with her to calm myself down.

Interview with Spencer Gifts Today


Well today I'll make this post short.

Spencer Gifts store in the mall needs part-time workers and nobody apparently wants to work weekends. I can fill that space in three days. Three six-hour days Friday-Sunday. Max 20hrs per week.

I really don't even see a problem with me telling them I'm MI and have been out of the workforce for quite some time and am looking for an easy job, low stress, and some extra cash to supplement my income.

It should be a fun place to work. I'll get to help and hangout with all the weirdo's, freaks, hippies, and other folk that like strange stuff.

I also like it b/c its a dimly lit store and I like working in the dark. Coolness!

Peace-out people

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Some comments on the VT Massacre


The following is a post sent to one of my spiritual boards which i will leave unnamed. Some poignant comments are made in regards to the MI (mentally ill). Here follows the excerpt:

--- In [deleted], James
wrote:
> The whole thing I don't like about his released videos and his past
history is that he was a loner, quiet, subdued and possibly ridiculed
on campus.
>
> This puts a bad vibe in the public's eye of people that are
naturally that way or suffer from a mental illness

I can dig it. It's a toxic stereotype. And the truth is that there's
a hell of a lot more 'mentally ill' or 'different' people that are the
victims of violence than are the perpetrators of it...
Reuben

--- In [deleted], James
wrote:
>
> The VT shooting:
>
> The whole thing I don't like about his released videos and his past
history is that he was a loner, quiet, subdued and possibly ridiculed
on campus.
>
> This puts a bad vibe in the public's eye of people that are
naturally that way or suffer from a mental illness like i do - i have
schizoaffective bipolar disorder, PTSD, OCD, and Panic Attacks. So I
mostly "hobbit" myself in my apartment happy with my pet friend tigger
the cat and read a lot of books. I stopped getting cable tv just b/c
i'm sick of the news playing over and over and over the bad news...
like Columbine and now this at VT.
>
> And how could he compare himself to 'dying like Jesus Christ'???
He wasn't nailed to a cross after being nearly beaten to death... he
simply finished his job and shot himself to death. And that's
torture? A bullet to the head is almost always instant death. I'm
sure the nether regions he now exists in will serve him justice. No
matter what your beliefs are... I believe in a universal justice in
life and after life.
>
> As for us "mentall ill", most of us are non-violent and
self-absorbed that is. I take medication and that allows me to mostly
function and interact with people that I could not do without them.
For me its a necessity right now, but maybe later - with the doctors
approval and suggestions - I can some years from now taper off my
meds. Some in my mental health group CAN and do live with out meds,
but still have their issues. Others like me have a medicine cabinet
full of meds.
>
> Peace-out,
>
> James
>
> Jennifer wrote:
>for all the poor and downtrodden. Awaken Christians to this child of
> your own creation, to this mental disaster called 'satan' manifest in
> the minds of those who dwell at the boarders of sanity.
>
> The minister cheating on his wife with gay lovers as he numbs his
> rational with powerful drugs, the preachers wife slaughtering her
> husband in a desperate attempt to escape his control, the mother who
> drown her children in the bathtub to secure their souls place in
> heaven, branch davidians burning themselves in the name of the reborn
> Messiah David Koresh, Columbine.. where will it end?
>
> Where does satan dwell? The 'world' didnt create this , other
> religions didnt create these ideas in your 'least' members minds, its
> own teachers did.... blasphemys and death roll from the mouth of the
> beast. No longer can the walls of the church sustain their firm grip
> on the chains of its own created demons, but their time is short as
> the worlds eyes open. This Monster is now real, it is manifesting
> before your very eyes , it condems and blames the innocent as it
> lashes out in its fear and frustration.

End of excerpt

Monday, April 23, 2007

Introverted, Intuiting, Feeling, Judging




















This was taken from http://typelogic.com/

Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging

Jung Typology Personality

Analysis by:
by Marina Margaret Heiss

INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.

In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.

Yoga and Meditation are happening again


Well I've started back on my routine of AM & PM Yoga to get my body limber again. I'm also doing crunches to reduce my "beer belly". 2 sets of 10 3x a day. In this lies the key to a healthy body mind. The rewards are truly great - especially the PM Yoga right before bed. Takes all the stress out of me and reduces stiffness so i'm not only totally relaxed before bed, but i'm also loose and ready for sleep.

I have also started meditating daily for 1/2 an hour to some ambient or new age music. I need the music to block out my voices and racing thoughts. I focus on the music and my breath techniques. When I feel out of focus, I simply return to focusing solely on my breathing.

The shaman pose in the picture is exactly how I meditate. It takes being limber to do that pose cause it stretches your legs and arches of your feet. Sometimes if I have pain I sit in simple cross-legged pose. Either way I come out of my meditation very relaxed and its almost like a trance like state. My cat is naturally curious and will chitter a few cat words at me and circle me and once she see's that i'm quiet and (to her) possibly asleep sitting up she will sit right in front of me as my guardian against spirits of the nether regions. She is my protector during my meditation time.

I'm also going to be riding my bike a lot more until I sell it. I'm trying to get enough cash out of it so I can buy a single speed MCS SpeedFreak 24" BMX Cruiser. I'm getting back into racing as soon as my budget allows. Just local and state races at first in the 35-39 Cruiser group. I may be lagging behind until i build up endurance and better sprinting speed, but I'll consider that training until I'm ready to race the nationals in 40-45 Cruiser group at the Nationals I miss so much. As i've heard before, there's nothing like a boy and his bike and the joy of biking. I might also head over to the old hospital hill and work on my strength training and endurance.

Here's to another great day brought to us on the east coast by mother Gaea herself.

Have a good one fellow readers.



Sunday, April 22, 2007

AM practice at the BMX track


Happy Earth Day!!!

I took AM practice with Jason, a fellow bmxer and he brought his twenty-incher out to practice since he said he's racing the Woodbridge (NOVA) national next weekend in 35 & over Novice. I think he's ready.

I had some good runs on my mountain bike and finally got down pedaling over the mini rollers (not really doubles) not stopping and cheat manualing the step up at full speed. Not as fast as if I had been on a cruiser, but still cookin'!

If you look at the picture closely you will see half-way down the rollers before the step-up jump on the first straight. I rode for a good hour before my legs felt like noodles, my arms were sore from pulling up for speed rolling the jumps and my arches hurt and became stiff. But I left feeling good, a good tired that only exercise can bring since that brings endorphins out into your brain making you feel euphoric (again i like that word).

I think that every nice day we have out now I'm going to ride the track for an hour and try and do the whole track non-stop pedaling. We in Winchester have the longest track in the state and the second straight is partially uphill with lots of jumps. If say in six months of this I should be able to ride the whole track hard and still have energy left for more after the finish line.

So ride on and on I will and enjoy the feeling of bike and earthen track and the rider/bike connection I feel when I ride. Its like magic. Nothing compares to riding smooth and with some style. I'll leave the big jumps to the expert teens, for me just being able to pull for these jumps and speed roll them is an accomplishment in itself for me.

Peace-out bikers.